Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Here's a friend's theory about sex for busy people with longtime mates. What do you think? I'm putting it in my novel so you read it here first...

Oranges

For many women and even some men, sex is like an orange. Did you ever
pick up an orange and think, "I should eat this orange, because I like
oranges and they're so good for you. But it's such a pain to peel the
whole thing and tear off all the white stuff and break it into wedges.
And the juice will run and my hands will get sticky and messy. And then
I have to clean it all up -- it's just not worth the trouble."

But then you do peel it and pick off all the white stuff and break it
into pieces. And when you pop one in your mouth and the fresh juicy
tangy-sweet flavor explodes like a little firecracker, you think,
"Man, I really DO love oranges. I should eat them more often!"
Interesting feedback -- thanks, DZ and Inyda -- one sees salvation in a good martini, the other in a good workout. Of course, most of us already do both, and for good reason. Just got back from my morning boot camp and the endorphins are flowing -- there's no better way to start the day. As much as I hate dragging my warm and very comfy butt out of bed at 5:05 most mornings, when I get back at 7:00 I always feel better -- full of energy and ready for the day -- than if I had slept for those two hours. On the days I skip, I usually wish I had gotten up.

That said, there's no substitute when hashing out the meaning of life, or just trashing it, for drinkypoos with the witches, and you know who you are. You are the awesome, funny, smart, passionate, overwhelmed and hardworking women with whom I LMAO every week and without whom life would be a very gray place. Warning, barf alert: I don't know what I'd do without you guys -- thanks for being so full of fabulosity!

What I really want to say, but might throw up myself, is you guys are the wind beneath my wings lately. Gag, retch! At the Georgetown U. graduation the other day I heard a great commencement speech by Ken Burns. He said he asked friends their advice when he first started getting invited to make such speeches, and one he tries to follow is, "Avoid cliches like the plague." I loved that. I often think in the worst cliches and despair at my highly unoriginal brain. But cliches became cliches for a reason, right? Sometimes it's hard to find a better but new substitute. Ergo, tripe like the above...heartfelt and sickening.

Friday, May 19, 2006

aMUSEme

Friday, May 19, 2006

So I went to a conference at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington, DC today called "Beyond Blogging" -- it was awesome. www.beyondblogging2006.com. I learned that the best way to understand blogs is to create one and use it. I'd been toying with the idea anyway, and want to explore it for the nonprofit organization I work for as well, so here goes:

I am Karen Bate, a P.R. manager in Arlington, VA; aspiring first-time novelist; and mother of three teenaged daughters whose cyberlives I barely comprehend. As one heads off to college in the fall, I must learn to IM as well, since my older (ha ha!) wiser friends tell me that's the only viable way to keep in touch with them once they leave this nest.

But I digress. I hope with this blog to find muses and musings from women of a certain age going through the same life transformation I am -- biologically pre, current or post menapausal, and psychologically either suffering, searching or already enjoying their new "seasoned" selves, as Gail Sheehy so wonderfully calls them. www.gailsheehy.com.

Do you ever feel like you want to jump out of your own skin? Do you wonder if, now that the kids are grown, the career is solid, and the marriage is either going strong, on autopilot or just plain over, this is all there is? Is there a second act? New challenges, new horizons? Or have you already discovered a new passion, a new love, a new life? And how do these changes affect the people around you, your husband, kids, friends, colleagues? What's it all about, Alfie??? And how can I get there without making a complete fool of myself, falling on my face and scandalizing the neighbors?

My novel -- so far nameless -- is about a 40-something mother of three (she does have a name, Liza) who works for a difficult, high-powered woman in DC and juggles the kids, a husband struggling with alcoholism, and her own sense that she's become unmoored. I've based her loosely on a close friend, but also include bits from my own ideas and experiences as well as many others. I think the most fun I've had is listening to -- and suddenly noticing more -- all the great quirks, opinions and takes on life my fabulous friends share with each other all the time. Please weigh in and join the fun. I'll steal your best ideas and take all the credit!