Evelyn's ATV Adventure

So yesterday, as I was trying to decide on a theme for my usual melancholy Summer's End post, I got this great email from Evelyn, A-#1 designer, running partner and partner in several misdemeanor capers as well over the years.

I saw the bruises myself this morning, and that girl is lucky she lived to tell the tale, and to run again! We both agreed that getting injured and not being able to run or exercise any more would be a fate almost worse than anything in terms of the quality -- and energy -- of our lives...Here's her story...

Evelyn: I'm doing well, although a little banged up. My fun-loving wacky brother invited us up to his in-law's cabin this past weekend right outside of Berkeley Springs. He was excited to introduce us to the wonderful world of ATV's-having just bought two himself. Since we all went dune buggy riding out in Oregon and thought it was a total blast, I figured this could be cool. And it was, to a certain extent, except for the fact that it is totally FÖÖKIN INSANE! The course was more suited towards say a professional motor cross'r than little 'ol minivan drivin' 'round Arlington Ev and was only one way - no turning back: this should have been a warning sign.

Anywho I'm driving along pretty well, anxiously anticipating the end of this thoroughly enjoyable, bone-jarring, back twisting funfest, when I came upon a deep gully that boggles my novice ATV navigational skills. Going right could potentially mean driving myself right off the side of the mountain ala Thelma and Louise. But remember how the ending didn't show the final hideous conclusion that would have rendered our two heroines into an unrecognizable blend of human and t-bird parts? Instead it conveniently ended freeze frame, car at its apex, occupants off into the great blue, unscathed, free of torment and indecision. I, on the other hand, was not so lucky...my ending would include those missing ingredients...gravity and impact. So I prudently choose the left –

Wrong.

I wind up driving into the chasm, coming to an abrupt stop, falling off...slowly… as the ATV falls with me, resting on my left knee that couldn't move out of the way because my goddamn foot was pinned under the tire tread -- budding triathlon career flashing quickly before my eyes! Luckily, said wacky brother (and this is the sane one) was right behind and quickly removed the offending vehicle. Afterwards he was like "Hey you want to go again?"

NOT!

I went back to the cabin, opened the appropriate alcoholic beverage(s), got on my bathing suit and went tubing down the creek for the rest of the afternoon, happy in the knowledge that once again I've emerged intact from yet another familial bonding adventure.

Karen: Thanks, Ev -- great tale, well told! And most importantly, a happy and injury-free ending. I would be SO bummed if you weren't there on the trail this morning at 5:30 a.m., and all other future mornings as we head toward the dark, cold days of winter, to help me discuss and deliberate and make sense of another season, another election, another job, another year...so let's stick to run/bike/swim Evil Knieval stunts from now on, OK?!